FALLING INTO AN OPEN MANHOLE AND OTHER WEIRD RANDOM THOUGHTS

Komikon was held yesterday (May 16) and much as I wanted, I wasn’t able to attend because it coincided with a family occasion.

I was with some relatives and we were trying to a make a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black Label history when someone in our group threw this intriguing question, “Hey, has anyone of you fallen in love with a married woman?”

I didn’t answer; I wasn’t always wont to talk about my personal things even to my relatives but yes, I had fallen in love with a married woman. Really, no kidding. It happened many years ago, I was still young then and the law of gravity was yet to be discovered then. She was already married when we met but in spite of it, we still became quite close. We would talk almost everyday and would go out once in a while. But I soon realized that what I was feeling then was bad and decided to suppress it. I made that painful decision after that fateful night when I uttered this short prayer, “Dear God, please, let her husband die in an accident. And make his death quick and merciful.”

The next day, I fell in an open manhole after being bumped by a pedicab and almost died.

We have a mysterious caller in our house. It started calling, I think, two months ago. It would make our phone ring three or four times a day almost everyday. No, it’s not an obscene phone caller. Everytime we’d answer it, it wouldn’t speak, it would just listen to our voice saying “Hello? Hello? Is it me you’re looking for? Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do” and would then hang up. Our phone doesn’t have caller ID so we have no idea who it is. But my guess is that it’s a secret admirer of my niece, which she is vehemently protesting, “Stop saying that, Tito Ron, or I will ruin your life!” Why did I make that guess? When I was 13 or 14 years old, I used to do that sort of stuff, I‘d ring the phone of my crush, would pray that she answer the phone, then I’d put the phone down happily without talking.


Few days ago, I downloaded via uTorrent an old decent comedy film. But when I opened the file, a porn film which starred a pretty and voluptous young woman named Alison Angel played instead. The film, to say the least, was revolting, lewd and would make your conservative Aunt exclaim Hesusmaryosep! three hundred twenty two times in fifteen seconds. In one scene, Alison was shown holding a cucumber and a banana but making salad was very far from her mind. I quickly deleted it.

Okay, I didn’t really delete it. I tucked it inside a folder I named Classified, Will Explode When Clicked. I will use it for future research purposes.



Willie Revillame have been flaunting his riches to the people lately, many TV shows and magazines are even documenting his every purchase (multi-million yacth, SUVs, mansion, etc), claiming that he’s being paid almost a million peso daily in his TV show which is a little hard to believe. Why would someone pay this obnoxious fellow that much? Now, a Youtube uploader (you can watch his video here) is saying that Willie’s just a dummy and that a politician (who holds a really high-ranking government position and whose popular nickname rhymes with tambayan) is the real owner of those properties.


I was surfing the blogsites of some of my friends when I stumbled upon this great debate on whether Carlo J. Caparas should be considered a pop icon or not in RandyValiente's blogsite, Carlo J, in my opinion should be considered a pop icon (no, a pop icon is not someone who loves to eat pop corn). But make no mistake about it, Carlo J is somewhat revered because of his komiks novels, not because of the films he created. Forget his films, don’t waste your time searching it in Quiapo or in your favorite torrent sites, they are mostly hideous, especially the ones about massacres. He is probably the Ed Wood of the Philippines. It is said that Sharon Cuneta gets depressed and suicidal everytime someone mentions the film she made with Carlo J. And we all know that the only reason the movie about the Vizconde Massacre made a lot of money was because many people wanted to see Kris Aquino being brutally raped and killed.

But many of Carlo J’s novels are very good. His Matatalim Na Pangil Sa Gubat (which is not about a Filipino congressman hiding in a forest but rather about a giant and ferocious crocodile) changed my life. It made me stop eating crocodiles. The fact that he’s till hogging the limelight at this time when people talk about local comics mostly in past tense is a testament to his durabilty.

And speaking of movies, two nights ago, we watched Heavenly Creatures, one of the earlier films of Peter Jackson, director of Lord of the Rings trilogy. The movie, a true story and which is about two female teen-agers who planned and carried out the murder of the mother of one of them, is very dark, depressing, heavenly and utterly stunning.


Early this morning, I was listening to my Amused To Death CD by Roger Waters. It was released more than fifteen years ago and I probably have listened to it gazillion times but I’m still in love with it. If you love rock music which tackles politics, war and human nature, its flaws and frailties, find this record (via torrents or Limewire), burn it, put it in your stereo, crank up the volume and make your neighbors feel your pain.

We were sipping the last few drops of the black label when someone said that he‘d grow a beard. “It will make you appear deep and mysterious and you’ll look good inside your coffin when you have a beard,” he said.

I vowed to stop shaving starting that day.