AZAZEL: THE TWO CENTIMETER DEMON
Yesterday,while I held a John Green book (An Abundance of
Katherines) I borrowed from a niece, I received a text asking me what the f---
happened to my Facebook account. Did somebody hack it? Now, why would anyone be
interested in hacking my dull FB account?
No, I told the texter, I closed it because a supermodel had been stalking me and sending me naughty PMs and erotic pics of her and it ‘s starting to annoy me.
That, of course, isn’t the truth but just an illusion.
I deactivated my Facebook account for a few days to enable myself to breathe a little, stop and smell the flowers, bask in the sunlight, reminisce about the good ole days, you know, ponder life’s complexities and the mysteries of the universe , and think about life’s authentic problems (like the forthcoming zombie apocalypse).
Okay, they aren't true either. I’m not in a habit of smelling the flowers—that’s too gay. It’s not that I’m homophobic but I’d rather be dead than be caught doing gay things. Anuveh! Ang chaka kaya no’n!
Anyway, the truth is, I temporarily closed my FB account so I could read (and re-read) a few books uninterrupted and without any distractions, without worrying that an important PM is lying in wait in my inbox or somebody has posted embarrassing things on my wall.
Facebook, of course, is a major distraction to anyone whose source of income includes sitting in front of a computer that has an internet connection for many hours. I tell you, and this is according to a recent Harvard study: the urge to stalk someone you like and see what she is up to at the moment and then stare at her pictures till kingdom come is too damn tempting when your Facebook tab is just sitting quietly and minimized in the taskbar.
It is, Harvard researchers hasten to add, as difficult as trying to avoid flipping your middle finger towards your TV whenever you see Bong Revilla or Jinggoy Estrada on the screen. Yes, it is that hard.
In my case, my distractions come from the myriad Facebook pages I happened to ‘like’ which churn out interesting and entertaining articles and videos non-stop on my newsfeed—articles that I find to hard to shun. You see, I love to read that sometimes, I can my pass my time happily just by reading the nutrition facts in some of our grocery hoards. Do you know that a 48 oz extra chunky peanut butter contains 3 grams of saturated fat? Or that green tea contains an ingredient that will make you (if you drink a cup everyday for two years, three months, two weeks, two days, four hours, ten minutes and 8.2 seconds straight) invisible at exactly 2: 33 in the morning and that it will last for 30 minutes?
Okay, I just made up that bit about green tea. But it's good for your health, of course.
But I am digressing.
One of the books I have read (I tried to read three, haven’t finished the two) is Azazel (by Isaac Asimov, a genuine wordsmith)—and I read it online. I’ve read and re-read it many years ago and my hard copy of it, given to me by my late father, unfortunately, was destroyed when our old house burned down.
And Azazel, the little demon, still entertained the hell out of me.
Azazel is a collection of short stories and it definitely belongs to my list of my top ten fave books(probably even top five.). I’ve been trying to find a physical copy from the bookstores here for almost a century now—to no avail.
This book, I think, sort of influenced me to try writing myself—my first short stories were inspired by the stories from it. So this book is really quite important to me, the reason I was stirred to write this blog.
No, I told the texter, I closed it because a supermodel had been stalking me and sending me naughty PMs and erotic pics of her and it ‘s starting to annoy me.
That, of course, isn’t the truth but just an illusion.
I deactivated my Facebook account for a few days to enable myself to breathe a little, stop and smell the flowers, bask in the sunlight, reminisce about the good ole days, you know, ponder life’s complexities and the mysteries of the universe , and think about life’s authentic problems (like the forthcoming zombie apocalypse).
Okay, they aren't true either. I’m not in a habit of smelling the flowers—that’s too gay. It’s not that I’m homophobic but I’d rather be dead than be caught doing gay things. Anuveh! Ang chaka kaya no’n!
Anyway, the truth is, I temporarily closed my FB account so I could read (and re-read) a few books uninterrupted and without any distractions, without worrying that an important PM is lying in wait in my inbox or somebody has posted embarrassing things on my wall.
Facebook, of course, is a major distraction to anyone whose source of income includes sitting in front of a computer that has an internet connection for many hours. I tell you, and this is according to a recent Harvard study: the urge to stalk someone you like and see what she is up to at the moment and then stare at her pictures till kingdom come is too damn tempting when your Facebook tab is just sitting quietly and minimized in the taskbar.
It is, Harvard researchers hasten to add, as difficult as trying to avoid flipping your middle finger towards your TV whenever you see Bong Revilla or Jinggoy Estrada on the screen. Yes, it is that hard.
In my case, my distractions come from the myriad Facebook pages I happened to ‘like’ which churn out interesting and entertaining articles and videos non-stop on my newsfeed—articles that I find to hard to shun. You see, I love to read that sometimes, I can my pass my time happily just by reading the nutrition facts in some of our grocery hoards. Do you know that a 48 oz extra chunky peanut butter contains 3 grams of saturated fat? Or that green tea contains an ingredient that will make you (if you drink a cup everyday for two years, three months, two weeks, two days, four hours, ten minutes and 8.2 seconds straight) invisible at exactly 2: 33 in the morning and that it will last for 30 minutes?
Okay, I just made up that bit about green tea. But it's good for your health, of course.
But I am digressing.
One of the books I have read (I tried to read three, haven’t finished the two) is Azazel (by Isaac Asimov, a genuine wordsmith)—and I read it online. I’ve read and re-read it many years ago and my hard copy of it, given to me by my late father, unfortunately, was destroyed when our old house burned down.
And Azazel, the little demon, still entertained the hell out of me.
Azazel is a collection of short stories and it definitely belongs to my list of my top ten fave books(probably even top five.). I’ve been trying to find a physical copy from the bookstores here for almost a century now—to no avail.
This book, I think, sort of influenced me to try writing myself—my first short stories were inspired by the stories from it. So this book is really quite important to me, the reason I was stirred to write this blog.
Azazel contains 18 fantasy stories featuring Azazel (a diminutive sarcastic but funny demon measuring only two centimeters) and George Bitternut (a shiftless, derisive, sarcastic and freeloading old man who has the ability to summon Azazel every now and then). George cannot benefit from Azazel’s powers so the old man uses Azazel’s powers to help other people (which can help him in return) with hilarious and outrageous results.
Each story in Azazel is very witty, very funny and simply genius.
My favorites are Writing Time, about a writer who demands more writing time and The Eye of the Beholder, about an unattractive wife who wants to be beautiful for her unattractive husband.
Believe me, this book won't ease global warming but it is very entertaining. Search it online and read it or if you can afford it, order it from Amazon (which I was thinking of doing, only if my wallet would allow me).
11 out of 10 stars.
Comments