SEX AT THE MALL ( And a condom that glows-in-the-dark)

     

       So there I was, inside a mall drug store, standing in front of a rack that’s stacked with razors, shower gels, deodorants, condoms and what-have-you. My mission there was to buy a razor. I haven’t shaved for weeks, I was aiming for a full beard but all I was getting was an unsightly mustache and a long and unruly goatee, so they had to go—for a while.

       I was about to pick one when two young men, both scrubbed and neat-looking, stood beside me, one looked fifteen and the other one eighteen, both still bereft of facial hairs so they’re most likely weren’t looking for razors.  What they were looking for were condoms, I learned. They gazed at the condoms like they were keys to heaven, or protector to their keys to heaven. Colorful, attractive, dazzling condoms, some flavored, others had scents, and some were dotted. Yes, dotted. And do you know that you can buy  glow-in-the-dark condoms and whiskey-flavored ones? Few years from now, and they’ll be inventing condoms that create music while you use them.

       

       Seemed dazed and confused by the multitude of choices in front of them, the two boys decided to ask for my expertise (the goatee probably induced them into thinking I was an expert on the subject) and asked me what I thought was the best brand.

       I said I had no idea, that I didn't even know how to use them. "Where do you put them?" I asked, which sort of shocked the two young men. Indeed, it was embarrassing to have little knowledge about condoms and sex for that matter, especially these days when twelve year old kids can easily lecture you about kama sutra and the danger of experimenting too much on sexual positions. “For goodness’ sake, you can’t do a wheelbarrow and a helicopter at the same time,” they’ll tell you.

       What wheelbarrow and helicopter they’re talking about, I also have no clue.

           

       After my response, I kept quiet and the two continued their search for the perfect condom.

       I finally picked up a razor (a disposable one) and went to the cashier. With AIDS and other sexual diseases rampaging these days, the last thing I’d do was encourage some babes in the woods, who most likely got their condom money from their unsuspecting parents, to have sex, safe or not.

       I paid my razor, and when I glanced back at the two boys, I saw them animatedly talking to a man (probably in his thirties) who gestured provocatively while holding a box of condom.

       Sex, of course, will always be a fun topic.

       And since we’re already having this conversation about sex, here are some of the most arousing trivia you can find— or nope! I really can’t put adult materials in this blog. Readers of this blog, and there are three of them, one of which is a relative, are all underage.  But do you know that roughly around 100 million sexual intercourses are happening everyday all over the world? Yes, it's true. A condom brand made the survey.

     100 millions (that's two hundred million people or more), and here I am, just writing this blog entry, left out of that stats…