Outlawing Videoke (And The Urge To Hang Somebody From The Chandelier, From The Chandelier)


      I had an attack of vertigo yesterday so I just lay down on my bed almost the whole day. The culprit to my vertigo? Terrible lack of sleep. The culprit to my terrible lack of sleep? My bastar—, er, videoke-loving neighbors.

      The torture began at the morning of December 24, around ten, I immediately cringed when I heard the familiar female machine voice counting which was immediately followed by a man belting out an Aegis song from the house nearby.

      Hito ako, basang-basa sa olan
      Walang maseselongan, walang malalapetan
       Sana'y may loha pa, akung mailoloha
       At ng mabawasan ang aken kalongkotan


      It was followed by a barrage of ear-piercing renditions of songs by Renz Verano, April Boys, Marco Sison,  Parokya Ni Edgar, Journey, Air Supply, Eraserheads—no Pink Floyd, darn! At around four in the afternoon, another neighbor decided to join the fray and started videoke-ing loudly, too.  The playlist, though, was different: Lady Gaga , Sia, Ed Sheeran, Katy Perry, Maroon 5 (still, no Pink Floyd, darn!) but most of the them still horribly out of tune.

      Iiiii'm gonnah swing from the chandelier, from the chandelieeeerrrhh
      Iiii'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
      Like it doesn't exiiiishhst

      That moment when you wanna hang somebody by the neck from a chandelier.

      The cruel noise pollutants went on nonstop until the wee hours of Christmas Day.  They were celebrating wildly like Jesus was their son and God ordered them to party hard and loud. It’s like only them had the right to celebrate the occasion. They stopped, I think, around five in the morning, and I was still awake by then. But these terribly inconsiderate neighbors still weren’t through: the celebration continued at around seven in the evening and stopped, I think, at around four in the morning and continued the next day. It’s like Jesus himself went into their houses and requested some killer versions of some Bon Jovi songs. 

      Shot through the heart
      And yur to blim
      Darleng, yu give love a bad nim!

      I know that there’s an occasion and the atmosphere’s festive but is it really hard to be a little considerate? Is turning the volume of your videoke machine a little down really hard to do? Is it really obligatory that your innocent neighbors be a captive audience to your concert?

      And why wouldn’t they sing “My Way” anymore?

      Probably time to outlaw this  bothersome machine from every neighborhood.

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