A Lonely, One-Sided Conversation On The Third Day Of A Supposedly Happy And Hopeful New Year

Breakdown on the shoreline

Can't move, it's an ebb tide

Morning, don't get here tonight

Searching for her silver light

And I can't get it out of my head

No, I can't get it out of my head

Now my whole world is gone for dead…

     It really wasn’t my intention to eavesdrop, but she started talking on her cell phone just outside my room at around ten this morning. She spoke in a hushed, longing voice, but I still could hear it while I lay on my bed, trying to mentally complete a story, and apparently, she’s a lesbian (is this a politically-correct term?) and she was talking to her girl (or her ex-girl).

“When will I see you again?”

“Is it true, you have a boyfriend now? Lots of people have seen you with him.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t able to give you something last Christmas, I don’t have money. I was trying to borrow some from (she mentioned a name) but she’s also broke. I wanted to take you to the movies.”

“I’ll find a job, promise.”

“Is it because I don’t have a job? (pause) I’ll find one.”

“I wanna see you, I miss you.”

“Are you still there?”

     Silence.

     After a few minutes, I stood up and looked out the window, she was still there, leaning back on the wall right below my bedroom window, staring at the vast emptiness in front of her, an ocean of loneliness waiting for her to tread on, probably trying to stifle her imagination from creating lovely, romantic scenes of her girl with her new man, one who can afford to give her a Christmas gift and take her to the movies and probably treat her to a fancy restaurant, like McDonald's. 

     I went back to bed, feeling a bit down, existential questions rummaging through my mind, like, where do lonely people come from? Or are lesbians really good (way better than most men) at wooing women? Or is McDonald's really a fancy restaurant?