A Not-So Smart Groom (And A Runaway Bride)

 


Never been near a university, never took a paper or a learned degree
And some of your friends think that's stupid of me
But it's nothing that I care about
Well I don't know how to tell the weight of the sun, and of
Mathematics, well, I want none, and I may be the Mayor of Simpleton
But I know one thing and that's I love you...   

                             "Mayor of Simpleton," XTC

 

     It happened in India a few weeks ago, it was an arranged wedding (a common practice in the country where the bride and the groom barely know each other or will meet each other for the first time on the day of their wedding) and the wedding ceremony had started but before it could be consummated, the bride took one last hard look at her groom and thought, He really looks like an idiot!

     She then proceeded to ask her would-be husband to recite the multiplication table of two, and instantly, he looked flabbergasted, beads of sweat the size of Taj Mahal started forming on his forehead, and he couldn’t answer. The bride asked another question, this time an easier one. “What is fifteen plus six?”

     His face lightened up, and he quickly replied, “Seventeen.”

     That was when the bride confirmed that she was being wed to a monumental idiot, that the information she got that he was an illiterate was right—she promptly cancelled the wedding.

     I don’t know, a man can be a college graduate, can reads books, write poems, stories, and incisive essays about the Illuminati and the New World Order, can be an intellectual and knowledgeable about laws and politics, but still be an idiot when it comes to math. Well, a lot of people  will list math as their weakness, and some intellectuals can also be nervous on their wedding day and when someone will ask them to recite the multiplication table of two, they can probably be flabbergasted, too. “M-Multiplication table of two?” they’d probably stammer. “Is that a new Avengers movie?”

     She probably should have given her groom another chance—she probably could have asked him about his opinion on Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution.

     Okay, he’s probably really an idiot.

     But did she ask him if he really loved her? He probably knew her all along and had been admiring her, the reason he agreed to the arranged wedding.

     Love conquers all, including all the multiplication tables, and subtraction, and calculus, and yes, even the periodic table of elements.

     Who doesn’t believe in it is the real idiot.

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