Beloved, Kindly Reply

 

     Last night, I received a text message that said, “Beloved, kindly reply on my email now.” It included an email address, and I don’t know, I assumed its owner was male. And Sun promptly declared that it was a spam message. Still I thought of replying to that message, trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a scam, and that the sender was just trying desperately to connect to someone beloved to him. I wanted to tell him that he had missent his message to me. I also wanted to tell him to “Move on, bro, no need to push it, don’t pursue her, the fact that you’re trying to communicate with her through email means that she has blocked you on Facebook and Messenger, and possibly, also on Twitter and Instagram. Man, she'd never reply. So let it go, once a woman decides to dump a man, it’s final. You can’t change her mind. Believe me, I’ve been trying to change a woman’s mind for eight decades now, one who seems to hate me for imagined transgressions, and I’m still a failure. The female mind is such an obstinate thing, tougher than Thor’s hammer. So, bro, just move on, get out of her sea, her waves will drown you, just swim in another ocean where you can find a friendlier fish. And later tonight, I will open a bottle of beer for you and drink it to cheer you up.”