The Girlfriend Who Couldn't Be Introduced And A Bottle of Sauce

 

     Two guys ahead of me in a queue in a supermarket cashier were talking, and as I leaned towards to my cart in front of me, yawning, waiting for the line to move, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on them. The topic basically was one of the guys had a girlfriend, whom he had yet to introduce to his family because he was afraid that his family would ridicule and belittle her choice of a girlfriend. They failed to discuss why his family would diss the girl, maybe she’s :

     A.] ugly

     B.] poor and uneducated

     C.] single mom/had been married before

     D.] transwoman/ladyboy

     E.] an ex-con

     I was thinking, while I grimaced watching the amount of my groceries rise up like a tsunami, if I had a girlfriend who was ugly, poor and uneducated, a single mom or a transwoman or an ex-con, my family would still be delighted and gladly welcome her, and would be relieved that a woman could still find me lovable. When was the last time I brought a girlfriend home to them? Dinosaurs still roamed the planet then.

    "Two thousand six hundred and fifty pesos,” said the cashier, bursting my thought balloons.

     I looked at my wallet, then I looked at the groceries in my cart, then I looked back at my wallet, then at the groceries, and then I said, “ The soy milk will have to go,” I said. “And the mixed nuts, and the potato chips, and the corned beef, chili oil, the citron ginger tea, Yakult, worcet—, er, wortes—, er, worsete, no, I’ll buy it, but please remove also the alcohol, cotton balls, and the chicken.”

     And while thinking of the girlfriend who couldn’t be introduced, I went home  bringing with me some Greek yogurt, a small bag of rolled oats and a bottle of worset—,  woster—, and a bottle of fermented sauce.