A Kitten As A Gift

     An officemate was trying to give one of my siblings a kitten (see photo above). My sibling wasn’t sure if that gift should be accepted so we held a meeting to discuss it and decide on it. Another sibling stood up, presented a PowerPoint presentation on why we should reject it, reminding us that having a cat in the house would be bad because almost all of us have allergic rhinitis. 

     Point taken—the meeting was adjourned after we decided that the cat would be better off with a different owner, which was a pity because I was already preparing to give it a name.

     I’d name it Wet—so when I call it, I’d be calling a pussy which is wet, and a wet pussy would come to me and I’d get to play with it. The name is a salute to men who like wet pussies, men who think every woman’s pussy gets wet whenever they’re around and that they’d be allowed to touch it with minimal effort. Wet pussies (pusang basa or kuting na basa in Tagalog) are, of course, always nice to touch, just remember to dry them quick because cats have this aversion towards water. Cats hate taking a bath, remember? The reason, they say, is they hate feeling cold and their fur getting heavy.

     But, then, I'm sure my siblings will stop talking to me once I name a cat Wet.