Taxman, Superman, a President, and a Lover Boy

 

     


    Lots of interesting news on my Facebook News Feed this morning.

    On the local front, there’s now a 20% tax on interest of all kinds of savings accounts, courtesy of Taxman himself, Finance Secretary Ralph Recto.

     Rumors abound that Senator Bato Dela Rosa will soon be arrested by ICC. Yay!

     Taal Volcano is threatening to erupt while the search for the missing sabungeros continues.

     And finally, Sara Duterte’s impeachment will begin on August 4. Yay!

     Abroad, USA President Donald Trump was diagnosed with Chronic Venous Insufficiency (CVI). People noticed his bruised hand and severely swollen ankles and demanded an explanation. CVI happens when your leg veins are damaged and struggle to efficiently return blood to your heart. Ironic, because just a few months ago, Trump, after a physical examination, boasted that he was the fittest and healthiest man ever to assume the presidency, that his health was spectacular and simply astonishing—“I’m the fittest, healthiest president you’ll ever see, no one is healthier than me,” he bragged.

    It turned out that he was quite sick, as it was also alleged that he was taking powerful cholesterol-lowering drugs (he’s a big McDonald’s fan and they say that he eats two Big Macs almost daily plus Coke) and had been secretly carrying a colostomy bag.

     His critics have been patiently and happily waiting for him to suddenly drop dead.

     Incidentally, CIV’s not the only thing bugging Trump these days. Jeffrey Epstein’s ghost continues to haunt him—yes, Jeffrey Epstein, the demonic pedophile who raped hundreds of young girls, many as young as fourteen, fifteen years old. Trump admitted he was Epstein’s best friend and there were accusations that Trump molested young girls with him.

     Epstein committed suicide while in prison (but others suspected that he was killed to silence him). Curiously, Trump was president when he died.

     The new Superman movie is reportedly awesome.

     A CEO and his co-worker were caught having an affair in, of all places, a Coldplay concert. Chris Martin, the band’s frontman, noticed the pair in a tight hug, but as the camera focused on them, the pair quickly separated and covered their faces, provoking Chris Martin to comment that they were either having an affair or were very shy. Apparently, they weren’t very shy. The clip went viral, and netizens tracked the pair’s identities.

    Now, for their next venue, Coldplay has announced that there will be sections in it that won’t have cameras.

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