THE DIRTIEST CELL PHONE SCANDAL

Last week, it was reported that a congressman had been urging the congress to pass a new law that would penalize voyeurs who use mobile phones to capture and spread video recordings of sexual acts. Buhay partylist Rep. Irwin Tieng, the bill's proponent, also said that mere possession of cell phone sex scandals should also be punishable by law.

I say it’s about time. These so-called sex scandals have ruined many lives and relationships. We really need a tough law to curb it.

I asked the opinion of a friend regarding this issue. You see, my friend's a sex scandal connoisseur. He compiles, researches and studies sex scandals to expose and denounce its evils. He’s dedicated his life to help this country get rid of this menace. Everyday, from night till morning, he stays awake to watch them with disgust so he would know of ways to stop it and punish its creators. He has watched them all, from Pandesal Scandal (wherein a panadero and a panadera are caught doing it beside the pugon) to Spongebob Scandal (which shows a yuppie and a kolehiyala doing the deed while watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants.

“Ron, my blood boils with anger everytime I watch these immoral videos,” my friend told me. “It’s a tough job, my eyes are tired, my brain is throbbing, but I’m doing it for the country, especially for the youth.” I admire him. He deserves a parcel of land in the Libingan Ng Bayani and I think he should use it immediately.

I asked him what he thought was the most disgusting, the most revolting sex scandal. And he had a lightning-quick reply. “The Mitsubishi Scandal,” he said. “That scandal makes me sick. It’s repugnant to the core. It shows a couple, both stark naked, doing it on top of a Mitsubishi car, unmindful of the people around them. It came out, I think, in 2006 or 2007. That scandal is so filthy it can give you a disease.”

I asked him to send me a copy of the video but my friend said he had no copy since his PC crashed two weeks ago while he was downloading the Veterinary Clinic Scandal, another repulsive video wherein a veterinarian was caught molesting one of his voluptuous patients. But he was able to save the screenshots of the said scandal. He sent it to me.

So here they are, the screenshots of the most disturbing scandal ever, The Mitsubishi Scandal. Please keep the children away from the monitor:








My friend is now recuperating in the hospital after my other friends (who all eagerly awaited for the screenshots) took turns in mauling him. He won't file charges.