Your Horoscope for Today

 

       So, after many years, I bought a newspaper again, a tabloid, which is a necessity to conduct some official business on someone’s behalf. A friend first read the tabloid, a wholesome one, not the sleazy type, and saw another proof that he really shouldn’t believe in horoscope. His horoscope for today, 8th of October, 2025, says: Taurus: Magiging masaya ka sa larangan ng pag-ibig. Mag-ingat sa pagpapahayag. Baka hahantong sa hindi pagkakaunawaan. Lucky numbers at color for the day ang 1, 17, 32, 40 at orange.

     The last time he was happy in love and had a girlfriend, he said, was two and a half centuries ago.

     I told him that horoscope probably works for others. I am also not a fan of horoscope, but there was one time, while reading a newspaper, I got curious and looked what the horoscope had in store for me that day. It said: You would meet a sweet and pretty girl today, who would be very submissive and obedient to you and would follow all your commands. Also, she’s a bit kinky and loves some tongue action and not afraid of relationships as long as you feed her.

      I chuckled and just shook my head. I have never met a girl who wasn’t stubborn or hardheaded. But later that day, whoa, the horoscope came true, I met a girl who was really sweet and pretty. I cuddled her and hugged her, and she didn’t resist. And her tongue, it was like she was begging to lick you. And she also followed all my commands. I told her to sit and she sat, I told her to lie down beside me, and she lay down beside me, and she always wanted me to touch her—she was a Shih Tzu.

     It's 77 days, 10 hours, 15 minutes, and 28 seconds till Christmas.

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